Photo by Maria Lupan on Unsplash

Your 40, You Can't Afford To Be Picky

Bullshit, whoever said this to you, or you said this to, is probably because of low self-esteem and a conformist personality, which is being loyal to a thought regardless of their inside opinions or how miserable they seem; and candidly are very good at masking it just to please someone or just follow a dum ass traditional mentality where a woman has less value or worth, the more they age.

One thing is to accept your aging, another is to put your goals a side,or rate yourself low and pick whatever life throws at you because of age or self image.

Listen to this, as men age you realize they are more handsome , take a good look at Robert Deniro, I still will fuck the shit out of him, they become more elegant and tend to take thereselves more seriously especially when it comes to health because they know soon someone will be knocking at their door.

Some even start dating younger gals to bring back that feeling of youth. So why us woman have to lower our expectations because of age? Is not about sex, looks, but inner happiness and we do what makes us happy and fulfills us, not follow something that makes us miserable. We must take control of our thinking, our decisions, and fuck what society expects, because I know dam sure if the next guy is an asshole, or abusive I will not stick with him I will happily move on.

This ignorant thinking is the cause of divorce, or more woman becoming afraid of stepping up and leaving and abusive marriage, and this goes for men too. This thinking is why many woman decide to live more for men, then themselves. They drop every life goal to make that one person happy to then realize that after so many years of false matrimony her partner was deceiving but stood with him because of this outrageous idea.

Anytime in your life you can find that good partner, but why not instead of looking, you start being yourself and love yourself in your own skin in so many ways ,once you realize your worth and your in a good space, than you are ready to accept that dating invitation from that gentle men that caught you starring at your book, as all the flaws were present and loved you this way.

Dismantle this distorted mindset, because you never know if at your 80’s you finally will find your true partner. It is never toolate trust me I seened it before my eyes and its amazing. Most of you because of your age don't let yourself be heal before moving on. Now don’t mistake a woman that jumps from one relationship to another as a woman that is in the wrong , I am not saying this. you must understand people heal in different ways ,and she might of healed way before that, and her mind was allready made up before she decided to leave that past partner. What I am saying is before you do make any choice to add someone new in your life and this goes for both genders, and I mean a person that you think will be that longterm spouse don't go in it just because your age is coming to a peak,make sure you are healed,and make sure he makes you happy, And healing is not necessary mean you were in an abusive relationship, it could just mean healing the way you feel about yourself ,changing those age stereotypes that destroy us both men and woman.

My people I understand it goes both the same for men and woman, but today I want to set my attention more on the ladies, because in reality they are hit worst when it comes to this and this is a straight up fact.

Ageism itself it has huge impact on both genders but pretty dam harsh at woman in this darn age. I am so surprised how these selfish groups that convey this thinking really don't think they will be in this same position as these victims. The ignorance is real, the hypocrisy is a disease.

Woman what matters is what’s inside, if he cant love you for that, then he is not that one. I remember one time I fell asleep near my ex, and I always had this aging line in between my eyebrows since I was young, which grew more defined as I aged, and let me tell you for my age I can pass for a 16 years old ,trust me you'll be surprised, I get carded mostly everywhere.

I remember how one morning I wake up to him only starring right back at me and with one hand trying to fix and massage my expression line, that's not even half of the shit he would do or say. Take it from me leaving this man was the best thing I ever did.

If you can’t see me for me now, imagine when I get older and i’m all wrinkles, should I start feeling bad for myself just because your not happy, FUCK YOU NO WAY! I don’t care you can be my partner at 90 you come with some shit like that I will boot you the hell out in your wheel chair, leave your ass in a nursing home, and I will find myself a new partner who appreciates me, because its never toolate.

Ladies life is not over at 30,or 40,nor 90. Its over when you start thinking less of yourself and you start putting your happiness and yourself last.

Do you know what it is to wake up and realize that you got you, and you love yourself enough to not let anyone make you think less of yourself, or hear anyone wining about you? And what I find sad is that most of this thinking are passed on from family members like our mothers or just close by friends. You should never put your goals, dreams nor self love aside for noone.

We are all a work in progress,continue to transform yourself and love the idea that whenever is time is time, instead of rushing to only end up with the opposite. If it happens soon than good for you. I am not telling you to say, “no” by any means, because he might be the one. I am saying never jump into a relationship with thoughts like this,only because you conjecture that you only retain so little options before no one ever looks at you, or before your age reaches a peak, a number in your head that doesn't exist.

I mean what if you found that person , and that person was amazing. How will you actually go about life if you became a widow at 80, then what?

This is why your thinking must change NOW! You must be prepare for the unexpected. Self love attracts people more towards you, and makes your friendships even more tight. It makes you stand out regardless if you are single or with a partner,how you feel about yourself, is revealed in your actions, in your way of speaking and thinking, and the way you even move around, and I mean posture,(well except those that have a bad back those have no choice). But yes, body language has it’s take in this too.

I know science have found that love does so much good for you like your heart,keeps blood pressure stable,and more emotional resources to help cope with the challenges one can come across, all because people who share life with someone special in their lives are way motivated,but…….(READ CAREFULLY)

What if you felt that, about yourself more, is possible, is all in the mind. Having someone special can be your friends and siblings and most of all yourself.

Why do I say this? Because what if that someone special was not that special and caused more harm then good? Then what?

This is why I say its BULLSHIT! Love yourself first, then find that person that's essential. Anyways Science is also a work in progress they change so much.

Yes… is lovely when we have someone , but just imagine the harm you will cause them if you weren't ready versus if you were. Not only must we think of us, but them too.

It feels good, try it.

Is time to give yourself that chance.

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Sulanita Sanchez

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